Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Reality, It's Not as Bad as it Feels ...

Hi there, Folks ...

Today, I had both kids with me, home, sick from school. The girl had fever last night so I didn't question the ailment. The little had "arm pain," but I was too lazy to take him to daycare since the girl was home. Major. Mom. Fail. That said, by 1 p.m. I had the 3-year-old, Hud, running into the living room yelling, "Shit, shit, shit! Is this a bad word? Shit, shit, shit!" Please don't be offended, gentle readers. I report the facts as they occurred. My day was made for the books.

So... let me rewind. My daughter had fever last night, so when she wasn't well today, I told her she must stay home. The little then followed suit and REFUSED to do to daycare (which he only attends Tuesdays and Thursdays, mind you).  All was well, until the afternoon hours. They watched movies, ate ice cream and relaxed. It was a typical sick day. Until I was actually needed elsewhere. I mean, as an ADULT and not just as MOM. I had a work issue arise (yes, I do, at times, actually try to WORK), and asked the daughter, the older sibling, to keep things "under control." Give me 15 minutes," I said. She did. I should have been specific. I mean, I should have been beyond clear. Like, CRYSTAL CLEAR.

Today. What a day. As an only child, I don't typically "get" the whole sibling rivalry thing. I have step-siblings who are now considered my true siblings, but I didn't grow up with the stuff I am witnessing. Fact is, the elder sibling DARED the younger to "make your room messier than ever." Yes, she told him to turn his area into a war zone. I had no idea that was happening until, well, until I SAW it.

When I finally saw what was going on, my first panic attack hit. Like first panic attack ever. EVER. Sweating. Heat. Drippy palms. Cotton mouth. Walls closing in. Vomit ... soon. I am no clean freak, but this was, well, NOT RIGHT. This was so bad. Kids acting like raccoons in heat, attacking everything in sight, and me, trying to understand it all. It was chaos. And I was NOT in control.

The hanging clothing from the rods in the closet, all off rods and on the floor. The shelves of books, cleared and books, on floor. The drawers full of folded clothes, empty, with all, on floor. The cover of the Matchbox cars case, ripped off (like an inmate tearing away at the bars on his cell). People, things here got nasty today. You see a trend? All was... ON. THE. FLOOR. Today, I saw the Lord of the Flies brought to life.

The rest of the afternoon was terrible. Yes, it got worse. I called my husband and begged him to return home. Not a.s.a.p., but sooner. I paced. I picked my nails and prayed. Husband got home, lectures were given, electronics removed (until further notice), all toys in garage. No television for a week. No Internet. No fun or frivolity ... until further notice. Did the littles understand the punishment? I have no idea ... All I know is that I am trying, with my husband, to raise decent, kind people.

I found myself in serious prayer (instead of light-hearted prayer), begging the Lord to not repeat today. I asked for obedient children, as well as patience for me and my husband. I asked for kindness for these siblings, since the older sister clearly set up the younger brother, when she told him to ruin his room, for the fun of it.

I walked away, knowing my children would soon be dreaming of sugarplums, dancing in their heads. Then, reality hit. It hit. I realized the truth...

Our prayers are so silly. My family has no Cancer (knock wood). We have a supportive family. We have a mom, a dad, 2 kids and 3 dogs (and even 2 frogs). We are beyond blessed. Yes, we have a pair of pants and 2 shirts stuffed down the kiddo toilet. But, let's be real. We HAVE a kiddo toilet. We don't have one. We have 3 in this house. So one is crammed with toddler clothing. We got 2 toilets to spare. My kid's bookshelves are bare. Not because we don't have books. We do (Thank you, Jesus.). They are bare because my maniac children decided to act like prison inmates instead of children sometimes.

Tonight, I am annoyed with my kids. They are in BIG trouble. Like, SUPER BIG. But, when praying with them before bed, it hit me ... My prayers for order and discipline need to disappear. My prayers need to be of thanks. Today was a big pile of shit, to quote my 3-year-old son. Still, what a blessing. Yep. I got 2 healthy kids and one super husband. Plus, I have a mom, a dad, a mother-in-law, a father-in-law and a few grandparents. And we have friends. But, most importantly, we have each other. Yes, we are down a toilet, as it is stuffed with toddler size 3 clothing. But, we are still blessed.

And, no, I haven't blogged in a year or so. Whatever. I've been busy, People. I got toilets to unclog. Don'd judge.


Anonymous said...

I've missed your posts. This is a good one. Where are my cookies? Still will take if you have them. :-)

bosterita said...

This was great. I don't have kids (yet) but I enjoyed this.

Jen Mckenzie Frazier said...

Cari- You might now have kids yet, but you have a dog and dogs and kids are oftentimes similar. Messy, loud, easy to bribe with a candy (or a bone)... Thanks for reading!

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