Saturday, July 14, 2012

Lost: Sequined Flip Flops

My daughter lost her favorite pair of flip flops this week at the beach. It rained every day of our vacation, in lovely Port Aransas, Texas, and to top it off, we (well, not "we," more like SHE) lost the sequined turquoise shoes. (I realize they sound like hooker shoes, but they truly were cute.)

We went in search of the pair, thinking we could retrace our steps and find them. Instead, we found oodles of other things, which got me to thinking ... why are people losing all their crap?

So, we spotted many single flip flops. Abandoned shoes. There are a few things I'd never abandon: my children, my husband, a new lipgloss, a full glass of wine, and my shoes. I'd never leave a shoe behind. A ship? Sure, let that sucker sink. I'd have been off the Titanic before you could have said anything about being "on top of the world." I'd never be a good soldier because under pressure, especially the explosive kind, I'd run the other way. Unless Forest Gump was there to run after you, you'd be screwed. Why? Because I would be the one "running," just like Forest. Although, I'd be hauling it in the opposite direction.

Other abandoned things?

I actually saw a pair of men's briefs. Yep, underpants. Knickers. Panties. So disturbing. Why would a person take off his, or her, drawers and leave them on the side of the road? Wait, don't answer that.

We saw a pair of sunglasses (but not the ones my husband lost on the same damn trip); a used condom (super awesome find); an unlabeled CD; a crumpled, empty carton of Marlboros; a lighter (not BIC); a tiny ball; a broken beach shovel; 2 t-shirts (in different locations); a rusty key; and a plastic dinosaur figurine. Okay, so most of this, if not all of it, is trash. However, I also found a wet, sad teddy bear. Pitiful.

I mean, sure, I was annoyed that my kid's shoes went missing.  I could actually feel myself turn into my mother when I said, "We are not made of money. WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES?" Still, if she abandoned one of her many furry pals, namely Foo Foo, Lexica, Annie, Cry Baby, Samantha, Max, or Lucy (yes, those are their names), I would be up a creek. She wouldn't sleep. They are family. You don't leave family behind. A sinking ship? Sure, walk away. But grab your flip flops and stuffed animals before the ship sinks.

What have you seen on the side of the road? Or, c'mon and confess, what have you left behind? Don't worry. I won't judge. Oh, yes, I will.


Nancy Dorman-Hickson said...

I actually started writing down things I saw on the side of the road during my daily treks to my daughter's school downtown while stuck in stand-still traffic. A decorated Christmas tree (in April). A big bag of apples. A driver's license. An Auburn flag. Then, ten feet later, an Alabama flag. A bag of potatoes. A car with a flat tire. Shoes. More shoes. (Sorry, no turquoise glittery flip flop among them.) Pillows. Sunglasses. A phone. Hitchhikers (nope, did not pick them up, sorry).

Lest you think my city has got to be the trashiest city on earth, this list was compiled over a period of months and days and days of standing still traffic. One does what one can to avoid abandoning ship (car) and running screaming down the road.

Jen Mckenzie Frazier said...

Nancy, The fact that you found a bag of apples and later a bag of potatoes is hilarious. How do we have so many hungry, starving people in the US if there are bags of produce lying around? On another note, I once found a red stiletto under a bed in Miami. That was an interesting trip for me.

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