Monday Snooze

So, there's all this talk about The Bachelorette season finale last night (and when I say "all this talk" I mean on TMZ, Access Hollywood, and E!). It would seem that I would have a ton to say, since I usually do. But, sorry kids, I found it a bit of a bore. As always, I thought drippingly-sweet Emily had on great outfits and some fab accessories. Outside of that, Jef (with one F) is predictable, oh and in the closet. Yes, I still think he is a gay man. (And, someone call Morrissey. Jef (with one F) here stole his look. 20 years later.)

I did laugh, or more like guffaw, out loud, when I saw that Arie had taken his journal to North Carolina for Emily to read. Let me give you a tip: If you are on tv and the girl chooses someone else, hide your face, no matter how brokenhearted you are. Move on. Do not, I repeat, do not get on a plane, travel to her hometown, and leave your journal with her. And, for that matter, do guys really write in journals? I know that's very sexist of me. But, I've never written in a journal. If I did, though, I wouldn't be passing it to my ex.

In other thrilling news, Mariah Carey is joining the judges table of American Idol. She grosses me out and so does that show. (And, P.S., I hear she is no delight to work with so have fun with that, but, as seen below, she'll clearly be adding some class to Idol.)

Kelsey Grammer had another kid, a girl named Faith. Which, is ironic, since he has such a hard time remaining faithful. I bet you a dollar he'll be cheating on her pretty soon (Cheaters never prosper, folks). Michael Jackson's mom, who is the caretaker of his children, has been missing. They found her. At a spa. If I was married to Joe Jackson I don't think you'd find me at a spa. I think you'd find me at a bar.

What else is out there? Cybill Shepherd is engaged (most people probably don't even remember her); Kris and Bruce Jenner might be having marital issues (Is there anyone in Hollywood who isn't?); and Mel Gibson's step-mom wants him to pay for her divorce from Mel's father (I guess it's just easy to blame him for anything.). Go ahead and put your check in the mail for this humdinger of a post. Godspeed.