Friday, September 7, 2012

Down with The Pinterest

I've already told you fine and gentle readers about my daughter, and how she recently started first grade. Well, my little man started his school this week. Granted he's only there 2 days a week and it's only until noon, it's still school.  I had a range of emotions: sad, glee, and fear, to name a small few. (No, this is not a post about my feelings and my children, so be patient.) The one I didn't expect? Disgust. Wait for it ...

So, I walk my kid to class and there are 2 big, fancy baskets of goodies for the teachers. It's a "Survival Kit" for each of the teachers, thanks to another mom. Another mom who doesn't just stalk Pinterest. No, folks, she actually DOES the many things Pinterest boasts. Think apples, granola bars, bottles of water, pens, and Post-It notepads all stuffed (all artsy-fartsy like) in a cute basket with just the right amount of fluffy tissue paper. I can't blame the mom for her act of generosity and kindness (well, I can, but I am trying to not burn any bridges). I can, however, blame Pinterest. Yes, folks, I think Pinterest is ruining the world.

Here's how I see it. It's making all of us decent, average moms seem like total slackers. Think Roseanne on the sitcom bearing her name. She sat on the couch, ate Cheetos, and watched her kids come and go. She didn't help with homework, make dinner, volunteer in the school library, write inspirational notes, or do, well anything. She especially didn't make "Happy First Day Survival Baskets" for her kid's teachers. Never. That's something June Cleaver would do, and friends, I am no June Cleaver.

Now, I am no Roseanne either. But, The Pinterest is making me seem more Roseanne and less and less June.

Trust me, I rode the Pinterest train for a good while. I have many (a many, a many) a pin and many a board. I love the fashion ideas and have dreams of redecorating my home in about 1,000 different ways. But, fact is, haven't made a single (not one) recipe from the site. I've made no craft projects, haven't redecorated a stitch, painted a thing, or planned a holiday party. I've done nothing with baking soda (or powder, whatever), even though the site claims its 101 uses. I haven't woven a bracelet for a friend, put a new roof on my house (using recycled milk jugs), or taught my daughter how to speak Spanish in "Only 8 Hours!"

Here's how I roll: I pop a waffle in the oven and viola! I've made breakfast. Pinterest groupies are making egg muffins and bacon animal sculptures. Come Halloween, I buy pumpkins, give the kids a Sharpie marker and let them go to town. Pinterest says you need to carve it, preserve it in some homemade-concoction, slap on some glitter (that you cut up yourself with Martha Stewart), and light it with fireflies that you caught and harvested.

Come Valentine's Day, I buy pre-made ones at the grocery store and let me kids sign them. That's it. On The Pin, folks carve V-Day cards out of ice and make their own conversation hearts.

My tired, pitiful furniture is still tired and pitiful, because I haven't painted it or covered it in family photos. I haven't made a t-shirt out of a stick of gum, a random sock, and a strand of hair (that's what MacGyver is for). You see where I am going with this? Pinterest is making me look lazy, boring, and simple. If my nails are painted, they are one solid color. On all of my 10, or 20 considering the toes, digits. The Pinterest fans sport a different hue on each of the 20, including scenes from the Bible on every second finger or toe.

So, instead of you sharing what you ARE doing, thanks to Pinterest. Please, do share. Share what are you NOT doing. Join me in being lazy and unartistic and say it with me, "Down with Pinterest."


shasta said...

Thank you Jesus! A busy mom with the confidence to know her head is on straight, her kids are awesome and her husband still loves her without proving or "pinning to the world" that she is not just acceptable, but painfully clever.

I have a theory about these "Pinster" mommies: Their families haven't eaten a home-cooked meal in weeks and their houses look like a bomb went off because "mommy" is spending 6 hours a day creating a make believe life to pin on a webiste. Watch - It'll be on Dr. Phil or Rachel in just a few weeks.

I salute your bravery Jen!
Rebecca Reed

Jen Mckenzie Frazier said...

You rock, Rebecca. Thank you so much for the oh-so-awesome comment. I never hear anything regarding the blog so this was exciting! On another note, I'll TIVO you on Dr. Phil. Have you planned your tv outfit yet? In my free time, I can sew you something I find on Pinterest. Ha.

Kim said...

I thought I was the only Pinterest hater! There I was all psyched up that I could be creative and artsy ... now my patio is permanently marked with silver spray paint and I have a stack of useless pallets and 156 empty toilet paper rolls that never did sprout a garden of veggies. And you should have tasted that last recipe out of the crock pot ...definitely a crock :)

Jen Mckenzie Frazier said...

Kim- Maybe we should start a support group for the Pinterest Failures? Hmmm. There's a thought. Instead of 12 steps we could just have 5 to keep it easy. Thanks for reading!

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