Thursday, March 14, 2013

Spring Break Day 4 ... Surviving

So, the week of Spring Break is nearing an end. It's almost Friday! The kids were determined to visit the zoo this week so, to the zoo we went. It was insane. I mean, IN. ABSOLUTE. SANE. The only good news was that my husband and I left feeling like really great parents. My top 10 examples as to why:

1. Neither of us have tattoos of the names of other men or women. On our faces.

2. We don't restrain either of our children on leashes when we travel or go in public. In fact, have never leashed one of our children.

3. My kids eat sugar and yes, the horror, fast food. They don't, however, eat a bag of Sour Patch Kids and wash them down with a jug of Mountain Dew. (It works for Honey Boo Boo, though, so perhaps we should reconsider?)

4. We don't beat our kids. If we did, we would never do so in public.
5. We don't smoke. In a car. With the windows up. With the kids in the car. Whew.

6. Our 7-year-old daughter is not allowed to wear t-shirts with beer slogans on them. Again, she's 7. Her daddy can wear whatever he wants, but she is not promoting beer. Yet.
7. The words "Get Daddy his Copenhagen" have never come out of my husband's mouth. Or mine, for that matter.
8. My husband and I, we swear like sailors. BUT, not around our children. Especially not AT our children. When you say "I'm going to knock the x*%&#y! s... out of you" to your child, you need to step back, and give your kid over to Protective Child Services. Seriously.
9. I have never pulled a crisp stack of dollar bills out of my bra to pay for an ice cream cone. In fact, no money is in my undergarments.

10. We may not be the most stylish folks around, but we at least get dressed. In other words, we don't take out children to a city attraction when we are wearing pajama pants and house slippers. Ridiculous.

Happy Spring Break, folks. If you are headed to the zoo, bring your camera. Not for pics of the kids, but to get images of those around you. I mean, geez.


Rhonda Lee Lother said...

Ok, I nearly choked on my hot chocolate when I read #2, so I wisely put down the mug before continuing the read. This is fabulous! I nominate you both for parents of the year.

Jen Mckenzie Frazier said...

Rhonda, you rock. I think you are my only reader of ye old blog here. And, I think if we ever did get nominated for anything like that, you'd be the one vote we earned. So, for that, thank you! And, by the way, the new hair looks fab. Wish I had 1/4 of your fashion creativity!

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